Michael Capistrano

Went out for coffee this morning and met this strangely tiny woman. She asked for my number. Of course I didn’t give it to her. -Michael Capistrano

They each poured me a drink before I finished introducing myself. -Michael Capistrano

theplurlifechoseme:

kandigasm!

I never should have kids. -Michael Capistrano

Round one -Michael Capistrano

Without a word, she pointed at the captain and said, “in my mouth” -Michael Capistrano

True story. -Michael Capistrano

Actually, I never did. -Michael Capistrano

This keeps happening to me. -Michael Capistrasno